you know, guys are very easy to predict.they get more unpredictable as u get to know them better.

today, i confirmed my own doubts.

anyway,i especially hate it when people say stuff like e.g: oh im half spanish half italian one quarter chinese one eighth portugese etc. and a lot of them totally have this lick-it-up-bitch mindset. seriously fuck off.

however,yes,i once admitted,i wont date chinese(singaporean) guys.

because they dont know what they wanna do with their lives.at least most of them.they havent got the tiniest idea where they r going after their education(sometimes i wonder what sort of education they r getting as well)(no pun intended) i definitely wouldnt date a guy whom i think is not smarter than me.

anyway back to the subject.

the lick-it-up-bitch attitude is barf inducing i tell you.seriously.

hello?i dont go around saying'' hi im chinese,how about you?''its nice to know that someone can speak a lot of languages because of his or her mixed race,but using it on girls is so passé.

idk.think about it.ciao babies.

Have you ever got tired of someone and youre confused,if u still love that person or u just miss the idea of having him around?

What if someone you never met, someone you never saw, someone you never knew was the only someone for you?

outing with magmag.

i spent 70 bucks today,not tooooo bad i guess.

had a lot of fun with her :D

this is what oviyum puvinkmuhmndgfvbsfd taught me,using picasa:)))

p.s my dear readers can you tell my hair is effing short now?:((((

three fucking inches.

last night,i dreamt of you my darling.

you asked if you could kiss me

as much as i wanted to,

i knew it could only be a lil peck

i have the pictures in my head

the moment your wet lips touched mine.

we met at a swimming pool and of course, i was appalled to see you.

we went back to my old place

laying on the couch we talk like there's no tomorrow.

it was all too soon

when i knew it was time for you to go

my heart couldnt bear to see the scene

and i woke up feeling disoriented.

EXAMS ARE OVER DUDES.

all planned out already.

next week monday: go out with magmag

tuesday: watch coco avant chanel.

wednesday: maybe work

thursday: go out with tammy

friday:yajun leave time for me!!!!(maybe couple of drinks at night)

gonna make myself look pretty(ier) today.see you babies.

UPDATE: my thursday fri plans are all gone,why?because money is coming into my pocket:)))

best friends--arent they supposed to be the ones who share ur secrets?

my old best friend, where have you gone?to her side? if u know all the fucking things i've done, i know you'll be mad.but then again,you'll just act indifferent and say" do whatever you want.''

is that what you truly want?

sometimes i hate you,i hate you for being nonchalant,i hate you for your indecisiveness,i hate you,for ur devotion to her.but then again, ''do what you really want.''

My dearest baby,

when people are planning for their fun after exams,how i wish i'll be having fun with you. how i wish we can go to sentosa,our favourite lil haunt to hang out,or sit by the beach just to hear the sounds of waves, with your arms around me and i'll lean over,to give you a peck on the cheek.

He said, i shouldnt be writing that on my pm,he doesnt know,the love we have.i dont know which one i miss more,your silvery blue eyes or the sound of your laugh. come to me now,for we'll make up for all the lost time.

Love.

im feeling damn pissed at myself today.for wasting time and not studying.exams are coming and im really nervous about them.when people think well of you and the results you produce in the end is not fantastic, then these people will go ''huh..why like that..''

fuck man.fuck pre-exam jitters.

this time i cannot, and will not falter.

watch me do it.

After reading a note posted by a friend on facebook, i felt...not emotional..but it made me nod in agreement and sometimes, i simply find myself in this sticky situation.

we often do not know what we really want until we acquire it.

it has been on my mind for a very very long time.i'll leave you to think bout this.

After acquiring what you want, u think again, is that what you really want?

yes, it may occur to some(or most) that its just people being fickleminded here.

i would rather think that it is after acquiring that the picture seems to be clearer now.

sometimes i wonder,the reason behind people choosing to stay with their

partner,mind you,stay,not be with. is it what they really want?

well, it may be out of love.(studies have shown that love is a form of mental illness so well..)

it may be because one is afraid of losing someone who they were once in love with.

or simply because, they have to depend on his or her partner to survive

as well as " well he should be the one, no other ones appearing yet."

definitely a lot to think about.

okay the above is pure bullshit.stop reading and get back to study.im so ashamed at myself for my progress at revision.econs book is still lying on my shelf untouched.FML.

im planning my post exam activities now babies

and the top of my list is to go for a huge buffet,yes,sakae,im craving for it,the one at park mall or united square.or the one down at my house.SHIOK. i dont care if dan cant recognise me this december just because i turned a fat pig.

im hungry like fuck now and im not going to succumb at 10pm at night.

anyway next up of course shopping lah:DDDDD that what i do for a living baby.

EH no im supposed to be saving up.ah shit.

Shit i have no life :((((((

oh yeah happy 22nd month sweetie.belated one. sometimes ur as stubborn as a bull,but i still love you just as much. i remember, my sister used to ask me, who is this hawkeye guy that u always talk to online?

this is the hawkeye guy i have been talking to for almost two years hehe.how time flies.

i miss dan, a hell lot.

poor baby had his tonsils removed and is recuperating right now.

man so annoying all my loved ones are sick.

been thinking a lot about my future lately,man,too many options and choices but where is the money grrr

oh well i better get As for the exams this time since ITAPPS will be a big fat C i reckon.

life,pls get better soon.

GP & GP

Tomorrow, i wont be going to school cuz GP 's gonna get his leg amputated.I know you'll be fine.stay strong ok.God will protect you, he will.

I love you GP.

Tomorrow, GP's gonna read the letter that i sent him. Will he be shocked?Will i get a good reply? Will he turn hysterical and start calling me?Will he beg me to go back to him?

I love you GP.

is it ok now?

why dont u answer that question?

what is ok?if ur definition of ok means being able to talk to u without feeling the pain, then let me tell you,its not ok.

i want to know,whats ur reaction when u read the letter.will u be sad,tearing,or will you just throw the letter away?

im fucking tired.fucking drained.seriously. im caught up in this rat race. most of the time im trying my hardest not to let myself get even a C. but i guess this time i will.seriously i feel damn bad about myself and all.

im just gonna submit the website and go to sleep.

i feel so rotten inside. like a shiny big red apple with a huge worm inside of me eating a lil and lil more of me each day.

i pray,u'll be better off without me.cause that was what i wanted for us,when i left.sorry for being selfish my friend.really am.

sometimes i dont know how i feel anymore.

sometimes its scary that i myself dont even know which is the real me

but sometimes i just need you to be there

dan is coming in december,first of all, i hope it wont be the week im going philippines,secondly, i hope he will really come no glitches this time.two years ok,i waited two years for him to come.pls let him be here.*keeps fingers crossed*

i wrote the letter, so carefully, so that it would not be stained with my sorrow.

the only thing that i am able to do now is to tell you how much i actually do care about you,except this time,it will only remain on my blog.

i lay in bed,thinking.thinking of the words i left unsaid.i wanna tell u how much i miss you,how sorry i am. and it fucking hurts to keep it all within me.

why,why did i let mysef fall?