BUSINESS AND SOCIAL ENTERPRISE..

wow this is great.damnit.i actually had to try my hardest to blink back tears.why god,why did u only accept forty students in the freaking course and make the COP 9 when i had 10?why???why did i get into a course that has forty people in it as well then?

it feels like someone stepped so hard on my foot and told me to get lost.makes me feel like crying out in pain,not because of my foot,but the pain of rejection.

LKY once said:''all my life i believed in merger..''

YGY says:''all my life i believed in IB..''

life's a bitch,i feel like im being forced to grow up so fast,the 2008 happenings,etc.

i want to be a child all over again,i miss those days when my parents would scold/hit me when i dont do my homework,fail my tests etc.at least back then,i had support and people there to push me from behind when i refused to move and just wanted to stay at the same spot forever.

now,i can just stone there forever and no one just gives a damn bout me,its scaring me,people only blame you when you have already done something wrong,bout the bad decisions you have made.

anyway this has made me realise something,life is not easy,i shouldnt be having only a life plan,i need to have many,if one thing doesnt work,at least the other would.
i'll be going to australia or maybe france uni if i cannot make it to the local universities in the end.

right now,i am going to work hard on my french and i want to take up japanese in school later,so that united nations will want me in maybe..15 years time??

my french listening sucks,i need to work harder on that to get through the test.

and i need to be strong,cmon GY.

please god just lemme get into international business,just this once i beg of you

im gonna be a good girl i promise.

hi world happy niu year.

i feel so lost.
i feel like a delinquent rotting at home till school starts,i know i am working,but im feeling empty inside,so empty...idk if i can make it for the international business course cuz if i cant get in,everything will crumble into nothing-ness.till the 30th*keeps fingers crossed*

i look at my bank statement and i get depressed.i am so damn broke.lucky for ang pao moolah.

the ox year is really bad for me,the year of the goat,and i seriously hope that i'll make it through considering that i have not been winning mahjong since the start of the new year,out of the 16 rounds i won 1 round till bei feng i went to drink cheng tng(yum) and i won four times in a row:).oh well but yeah..

i think i act like im 25.except for maybe the sex part.nuff said.anyway,its cuz i know what i want to do in life.instead of worrying bout what hw's not done etc,im worrying bout work,having to deal with people you would not want to talk to in a million years,etc.and im working towards my goal every day.

will you take my hand,
hold me close
and pull me near,
till i can see my sunshine shining through?

i love my big brother will.although he used to be quite weird.but no matter how tough the going gets,he was always there,a friend,a brother and sometimes a dad.i know he loves me as well.

its so hard to be that comfortable with a guy,to tell him ur innermost secrets,the things i have done wrong,but he doesnt scold me,and still thinks im amazing,and wants to fuck people who doesnt understand me,etc.

on and off,we have been talking for 6 years,although we never met,but that kind of brother sisterly feeling can never be matched.if not for the day i used my cuz's hotmail acc to check something,i would never have started talking to him on msn.

he says he gonna bring me to places i've never been to,let me stay with him,gimme the biggest hugs in the world and even cook for me.

he told me if im feeling down,just know that hes thinking of me at the other end and will always be there for me.

i just need someone like that.someone who wouldnt ignore me,someone who would talk to me,would treat me nicely and make me feel loved.

although he said talking bout it is almost like fuck all,but i know he really wants to do that.

thank you for being there by my side and when no one understands me.

i love you.

im so tired idk why i still have energy to blog.i was contemplating to buy an IT bag,the prada fairy bag which is fuckass nice,but i realised they kill like baby cows or lambs to make those leather bags.DISGUSTING.i am so disgusted with myself for wanting to covet that bag.





i think the money i earn is not enough to sustain my spendings.

SHOPPING

WAXES

MAKEUP

PILLS

EATING

TRANSPORT

MANICURES/PEDICURES

TREATMENTS/DYE HAIR

wa im B-R-O-K-E!!!

okay im gonna make niu(牛) year resolutions since i did not make any this jan.

well im gonna lose 5kg.

i'll try to eat less seafood.

i'll study very hard in poly.(really really)

i'll work hard at my french and stop saying it sucks.

thats all i guess.

oh yeah the bad news is i'll still be that annoying bitch who annoys the hell out of everyone woohoo!

eh sometimes i think im turning into this bitch/slut/bimbotic(whoops)/asshole person.

okay i need to cut my fringe and go buy some sort of gold eyeshadow to match my dress on monday.au revoir!

i think im becoming more and more crazy.i find myself thinking in french and korean every now and then.you know whats the worst part.its that you dont know much vocab bout these languages and you end up just thinking bout the words you know,which sucks.

i am so tired i feel like a zombie now.i swear.i have so many things to do,so lil time.im so confused right now.

i get depressed when i think bout quitting my job,i cant quit,cuz i need money.and im doing all the shitjobs.

it feels so good to talk to tammy again,feels like old times in school.

oh yeah met up with yau nga kwan.she rocks.haha.im secretly in love with her.ok la not secret.she knows it.haha.



and i want to fuck those people who think im 19 and above.i just fucking turned 17.

Confidence,thats all what it matters

i love the way how everyone throws me glances/stares when im out on the streets.it gives me a confidence boost cuz i know from the look on their faces that they think im god damn pretty.

you might think im obsessed with myself or something,yeah i admit,sometimes,cuz i get these ego boosts every now and then.

if you were standing at the traffic junction and cars that come by suddenly drive slower and the drivers have their eyes on you instead on the roads,what would you think?

what if you were walking on the streets and a car stops by and the guy asks for direction when he obviously knows the route the way he says it and asks for ur number the next minute?

do you get people who go up to you to tell you that he/she has heard so much about you but you barely noticed their existence?

or that everyday you get at least a compliment from someone on different modes of communication?

EDIT:ME AND YAJUN GOT A COMMERCIAL AD THINGY COS THEY THINK WE PRETTY TODAY.ha ha not the first time already!yajun says people will spam me for being so egoistic,oh will you??

yeah my confidence comes from these..and i think i rock.big time.

i wanna say thank you god,so much.i love you to pieces.

i hope my good karma isnt all used up yet,so that i can save some to get into the poly course i want.

i cringed at my own words.

我们都在利用别人来麻醉自己。

i love the few seconds just before i wake up from my sleep,in that few seconds,i forget the screwed up things in my life,the pain momentarily.

cuz even in my dreams,i can still feel the pain.

skype rocks.anyway i shall not talk much,its a lil hard typing when you just had a manicure

while i was working yesterday night,someone from venture corporation called me up.apparently i did some sort of school survey and they think im damn good.smart of them.but too bad i have a job.its a freaking listed company i think.

ok ciao.i promised to sleep at ten.see whats the time now.

p.s skype sucks.cant use it on my psp.lets stay contented with msn baby.

yet another korea pic

why must you make things so fucking hard for me?why is that?

i feel like an asshole.An asshole who deserves all this shit u gave me.im sorry there are so many things i cant say right here,right now.its so fucked up and theres no one i can turn to.

i was listening to what hurts the most on the train and i almost cried.
fuck me fuck me fuck me.

there are days,every now and again,i pretend i am okay.

i thought it would be better this way,i THOUGHT.

p.s you make me feel like im going for a bungee jump.

p.p.s i think my readers are bored by now.

i need help.someone.

因为我相信
说过了再见
一定会再见

OMG i am dying of boredom-ness(if there is such a word) i need to go shopping for chinese new year clothes.anyone?

and i got my new psp yesterday,but it is a piece of useless metal for now until i download games in it so zachariah chan!hurry up tell me when i can start downloading.haha but i gotta thank him cuz he taught me a lot and i can type at extreme speed on my psp now on msn,ok bullshit.

french lessons are starting on friday and i need to sign up for poly courses,i hope to get into the course i want.

i just combed bugis,what now???maybe marina square or orchard might be a good place hm...

bonne annee everyone!god i hate working!!i hate answering phone calls i swear.

i played mahjong for more than 12 hrs the past couple of days.life has been quite sad.i just received a call from canada just because i accidentally pressed the button.phew lucky i told my dad bout it and hes ok with it and doesnt suspect anything.he even asked me to call 019 if im calling overseas lol.and i totally humiliated myself in front of my bf cuz he heard crazy things ha ha.

we are not going overseas anymore i think.me and my sis.reason?she wants to save money to buy insurance.pfft.''what if i die tomorrow?''

we were talking bout our mum yesterday,the tears just came.i havent been seeing/talking to her for more than three months already.she didnt even get to see my permed hair.i dont understand.why is it that i dont get to have a happy family like other people?why is my mum such a fucked up bitch who makes us hate her?from young i've always hated her family,the aunties,the uncles. my sis told me actually its good that she left,we dont have to invite her whole fucked up family when we have our wedding banquet.although i still miss my cousin whom i have not been seeing for more than a year.when we were at korea,everyone was so surprised that we ventured there alone.

'no parents?'
'you mean my dad?nah,he wont come'