tes yeux, j'en reve jour et nuit

i have been telling people I am tired all this while. I seriously am. of life.my life. i am only going to turn 18 in 18 days.but it feels like i have been here for the longest time. some people have already lost their sense of direction in their lives.its so sad.i was thinking,if im this tired at maybe age 40, i might probably not want to live anymore. Life is so tough, we are here to receive pain and hardship.its horrible.the only sensible reason to keep me alive is that life will get better when i start working.but i know,other problems will come in my later life.for sure.

im not being pessimistic or whatever but i think that god has this arrangement for me such that i'll be a better person in this way.if i dont die from all these that is.

and french is killing me.god.future tense indeed.